"Fuck, I thought angrily and threw the phone on the settee next to me. That little slut of a sister has turned my Taylah into a whore like her. I got up and stormed across the room, furious that Taylah would do this to me, and then the light bulb moment happened.I did this to me. I gave Taylah the hall pass. My exact words to her when she was getting dressed to go were, "Hey, it's your last week of freedom; next week, we will be married. Why don't you cut loose tonight, go wild, do something crazy?"Taylah had just looked at me at the time and screwed up her nose, and said, "Like what? I don't know what you think we are doing. We are just going on a pub crawl with my girlfriends. I'm not going out to get laid, Nick, just because I'm getting married. I certainly hope you didn't do anything stupid last weekend with your friends like cheat on me?" What? No, of course not. I just mean, let your hair down have some fun. I'm sure Carla has organised a male stripper or something. And I'm ok. God that felt good!I was going to miss it, being able to feel safe at night, being able tobe brave.I opened the doors to my now tinier flat and went to the kitchenette andpicked up the magenta bottle. Here it was. The bottle that would turn meback from Brian Storm's ideal lover into regular Debra Moscovitz whodidn't stand a chance with him."Wait a second," I mumbled to myself. I was Brian Storm's ideal lover.Not fucker, not bang, not lay, not screw! I loved him! I was in lovewith him. It felt stronger, more positive than Debra's crush on himwhich was desperate and shallow and would change within a few months. Itwas so desperate she changed herself just to fuck him. But I loved him.I could picture spending the rest of my life with him. I could picturegiving up my femineity, five or six years of my life if I was rightabout the age thing, my family, my career, my safety, even my privacy,all for him. And the way he spoke to me, instead of the fake onstagecharm or how he talked during.
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